


It's Still Possible To Dream

by General_Syndulla



Series: Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me! [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Jinnobi Challenge, Jinnobi Challenge 2019, Kissing, M/M, Pining, Post-Canon, Qui-Gon Jinn Lives, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 08:50:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21116048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/General_Syndulla/pseuds/General_Syndulla
Summary: Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan kisses, ranging from Qui-Gon's near death at the hands of Maul, to his gentle and quiet end in a bed, the both of them older and wiser and all the more in love for it. Important moments in their life together that are like bookmarks in their long and wonderful story.





	It's Still Possible To Dream

The Padawan could hardly stand to look at his Master, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. He was so, _so_ grateful that he was alive, but he was so, _so_ terrified for him too. Qui-Gon had nearly been killed by the Sith Lord. Obi-Wan knew it was wrong for him to feel like this, knew he shouldn’t be so upset by the thoughts. What if Qui-Gon’s life was never the same after this? What if he never healed? What if he didn’t make it through the healing process? The questions swirled and circled around Obi-Wan, threatened to drown him if he wasn’t careful about controlling his reactions to them.

_All things die._ Wasn’t that what he had been taught?

So why did this hurt so much?

He bundled one of Qui-Gon’s hands in his own, so large, calloused from the years and yet so soft, and almost bigger than both of Obi-Wan’s hands holding it. Small tears fell on the relaxed and opened palm, little drips at first before Obi-Wan had to quietly mask a sob. He leaned forward, curling in on himself until his worried forehead was touching the open palm.

Obi-Wan had watched the Sith Lord, a black and red-skinned Zabrak, stab his Master through what he thought at first had been his heart. Thankfully, and so luckily, his blazing red lightsaber had missed Qui-Gon’s vital organs by mere fractions of inches. Obi-Wan had thought in those following moments that his beloved, his cherished master, had been lost to him forever. Lost to everyone around them, lost to the galaxy. As rogue as Qui-Gon could sometimes be, he was such a valued member of the Jedi tribe.

And valued to Obi-Wan’s heart.

Few could picture life without him, troublesome as he could be. Obi-Wan especially.

Obi-Wan wasn’t exactly proud of the moments following, feeling as shameful about them in retrospect as he felt now about his tears. He had defeated the Zabrak in combat, but had done so with anger and revenge tearing through his heart. Obi-Wan shuddered with the realization that it had at least gotten the job done effectively, the Zabrak warrior splitting in half as he tumbled down the ventilation shaft below.

But now, Obi-Wan had so many mixed emotions to cope with. The anger at the Zabrak. The hurt and loss in his heart as he had held his Master in his arms, closer to death than he had ever been before. The fear he held there now as he hoped desperately that Qui-Gon could pull through. Obi-Wan grasped for that little flicker of hope and tried to breathe life into it, tried to build it into a flame.

It was all he had for now. Confusing as it was, he clung to it desperately, a glimmer of happiness that Qui-Gon survived such an ordeal.

“Master, I’m so glad I didn’t lose you…”

Obi-Wan softly pressed little kisses to the inside of his palm, at the bottom of each finger, nuzzling his nose into the warm center. He really was grateful. Obi-Wan couldn’t help but to mutter small and grateful words into Qui-Gon’s touch.

If Obi-Wan had glanced up at his master in the recovery bed just then, middle bandaged up so heavily, he’d have seen the faintest of smiles twitching across his features. A rare sight indeed, but one well-earned in this case. Perhaps Qui-Gon had heard him through the hazy sleep of medicine and Force healing. Felt his soft and innocent kisses on him.

Qui-Gon would simply have to persevere for those kisses alone. His Padawan needed him. The choice he had to make was clear.

***

“You have to promise me you’re going to be careful. I don’t think I can bear to…”

The taller man seemed to hesitate. He looked down at his old and worn boots, brow furrowing. Usually keeping his stronger and more negative emotions clutched close to himself, the display was something unusual for Obi-Wan to see. Even mild frustration rarely showed on the older Jedi. When Qui-Gon looked back up at him, his kind and warm eyes were shimmering with fresh tears.

“Please just promise me you’re going to be careful.” He repeated. Obi-Wan could only watch him, struck by the way Qui-Gon was looking at him. Their relationship had blossomed following his knighthood, though of course they kept things professional and strict outside of their rooms and long missions on far off planets. But this, here now in the hangar, seemed so open. So personal.

The younger man would be lying if he said he was surprised that Qui-Gon had made the decision to leave the Order. He had felt like it was coming for some time, but now with the Order joining the ranks of battle in the Clone Wars, Obi-Wan knew Qui-Gon’s days with their group were numbered. As rebellious as he had always been, Qui-Gon had never respected the supposed art of war, and felt that the Jedi’s place were not as servants to anyone or any power but for the Force.

He was not ousted or ostracized by anyone at the Temple. His announcement of leave had spread quietly through the ranks. Most had said their goodbyes already, and Obi-Wan recognized a few old friends, familiar and unfamiliar faces alike but clearly important in some way to Qui-Gon, waiting to say their own piece after him. Obi-Wan didn’t think he could say goodbye enough times to feel satisfied with it. Qui-Gon would just have to leave him here in this hangar, or he would never let the other man go.

Obi-Wan swallowed his own tears, but to no avail. The water line of his eyes glistened as he took some steps closer to Qui-Gon. “Of course I will be. But you have to promise me the same.”

For once, it was Obi-Wan who took the initial move to close the space between them. Having to lean forward on his toes slightly, he held Qui-Gon’s outer cloak in his hands as he pulled him into a deep and sensitive kiss. His heart pounded at the openness of it, the sudden newness of what it felt like to so unabashedly share their love with each other, and not care what others may think.

Qui-Gon easily accepted the kiss, his lips meeting Obi-Wan’s in a gentle and soft movement to counter the tender aggression and seriousness of Obi-Wan’s kissing. Obi-Wan tried to mask his shock at Qui-Gon so easily returning the affection so publicly, but yet a soft gasp escaped his lips.

He felt Qui-Gon’s hand touch his face, felt his thumb stroke along his cheekbone. The feeling was so familiar. It made Obi-Wan automatically sigh, made all his worries about the entire situation melt from him. It made him feel like things just might actually be okay. Maybe that was the point of it all.

Qui-Gon broke the kiss first, resting his forehead on Obi-Wan’s and smiling down at him.

***

Obi-Wan’s time in the Clone Wars had been hard on him. Harder than he could have expected at the start, even as worldly as he was. He had seen so much terror. Death. Destruction. At the hands of both sides. Obi-Wan hadn’t known what to feel the first time he saw his own troops dying right before him, whole lives slipping through his fingers like grains of sand in wind.

It had been a hopeless and empty feeling. Obi-Wan had struggled to keep himself devoid of any burnout, keep himself caring and watchful of his troops, his fellow Jedi. But it was getting harder by the day. Obi-Wan’s thoughts often drifted back to his old master, his former lover, how he was getting on. Otherwise, his mind drifted astray back to bleakness. His hair, once bright like a flame, had dulled to a slightly muted red. Even his eyes weren’t as bright as they had been in the days before the conflicts. Worry lines had begun to etch into his still youthful features.

He often thought of his last conversation with him before he had left. The choice Qui-Gon had given him the night before publicly announcing his leaving the Order. To stay with the only life he had known. Or to embark on a new adventure with him. Obi-Wan was beginning to feel he had chosen wrongly, though he knew things like regret and rumination usually only brought the most troublesome thoughts and worries.

Contact with Qui-Gon had been sporadic through the years, but often enough to leave Obi-Wan always desperate for more. The other man could never leave his thoughts for long before he suddenly appeared again to him. As a hologram message. In a loving typed note sent on the Holonet. Once, some years prior, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had a chance meeting together on a distant Outer Rim world. They had a very passionate and exciting night together that still made Obi-Wan’s cheeks flush to think about.

Now, his cloak swirled around him as he walked out to the Temple hangar bay, the very same place he had once said goodbye to Qui-Gon what felt like so very many decades before. And yet, it had only been but a few years. He had changed his mind. Remade his choice. He was going to be leaving with him this time. He had submitted his resignation from the Order only days before, and the Council had no choice but to accept his decision, of course.

They suspected what lay hidden in Obi-Wan’s heart, and if any were watching now, their suspicions would of course be confirmed. Waiting outside of a modest star cruiser at the end of the bay, was none other than Qui-Gon Jinn. Looking some years older of course, rougher than ever around the edges, his once greying hair streaked with white and mostly a darkened grey.

Obi-Wan couldn’t help but to rush the last few steps to him and throw his arms around his form, always so much bigger, stronger, protective around him. Obi-Wan had almost forgotten the feeling, almost forgotten how much he had missed it. But how could he ever forget it completely?

“Oh, I’m so happy you’re joining me now, my love… It only took you long enough.” Qui-Gon playfully jabbed as he nuzzled his ever-scruffy face into the skin of Obi-Wan’s neck. It made the other man shiver and laugh quietly, nestling himself into his big arms. “I just needed a little bit of time to think about it, I guess.” He heard Qui-Gon chuckle as he pulled away, murmuring something about how so many years could hardly pass for a “little bit” of time at all.

Obi-Wan shook his head with a sarcastic roll of his eyes and pressed himself into Qui-Gon as he leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. It was passionate and much like their kiss at Qui-Gon’s departure. Unabashed, unashamed, loving. But this time, with a spark of happiness. A mix of excitement. The heaving feeling of trying something new, something totally unexpected.

Obi-Wan didn’t know what to expect from the next chapter of his life. But he knew as long as he had Qui-Gon by his side, he would be happier than he had been in years and years. He couldn’t hide the smile on his face as their kiss finally broke apart.

***

The Holonet broadcast between them on the table stunned them both into silence. Obi-Wan had to blink hard to make sure he was hearing it correctly. The broadcaster repeated the headline again, as if they could read the disbelieving minds of all who had to have been listening.

_”I’ll repeat that one more time… The Clone War is over with the peaceful negotiation of a treaty between the Galactic Senate and the Separatist Movem…”_

Obi-Wan hadn’t heard the rest of the message. It would be several hours before he could listen to it in full without breaking into some wild and quite atypical display of emotion. He had hurled himself over the table and into Qui-Gon’s arms, tears streaming down his reddened cheeks as they kissed again and again.

“Oh, careful now my dear one…” Qui-Gon’s deep voice had rumbled as he willingly caught him, carefully hugging him close with a laugh. Years since Obi-Wan’s leaving the Order, they had traveled well together, quietly doing good for the sake of others, keeping their noses clean but not letting their sense of justice stray too far from them.

They were both shaking with laughter as Obi-Wan toppled into his lap, hugging Qui-Gon’s hands to his chest. “I just can’t believe it! It’s too incredible…” Obi-Wan’s smile was bright, beaming up at Qui-Gon, so excited that he couldn’t help but smile back at him. He brought his free hand up to gently stroke along Obi-Wan’s cheek, brushing his thumb through the rough and dulling red hair of his beard.

“I suppose we have no choice _but_ to believe it, dear one.” Qui-Gon raised his eyebrows and huffed a laugh. His hair had long whitened with age and starshine, traveling through so much hyperspace. A few darker grey streaks remained toward the back of his head. Obi-Wan reached his hand up to gently stroke at his matching white beard, still kept short along the noble features of his handsome face.

Obi-Wan sat up in his lap to softly kiss Qui-Gon, nuzzling their noses together and sighing delicately as Qui-Gon wrapped his arms around him to hold him close. The kiss was as soft and gentle as any could be, their lips meeting again and again in several quiet movements. Obi-Wan typically always let Qui-Gon lead, but this time he simply couldn’t help himself as he pressed kisses further along the curve of Qui-Gon’s mouth, their lips joining in almost perfect synchronicity. A simple and happy display of affection, celebratory in its nature.

Such as they had so many years before, it was the start of a new chapter together. And Obi-Wan could barely wait to see what it had in store for them. They would face it together, he knew so.

***

His hand was held tight in Obi-Wan’s own, grizzled with age and experience but still so soft in its touches and the way it caressed along Obi-Wan’s hand with such a careful way it couldn’t have been anything but chosen, deliberate. Obi-Wan had been doing so well up to now, keeping his fiercest emotions at bay. But even in his increasingly deteriorating state, Qui-Gon couldn’t miss the little crease on Obi-Wan’s brow, between his shining eyes.

“It’s almost time, my love.”

Obi-Wan lifted his gaze to meet the other man’s, so sad and yet such love and warmth burning behind the dark gloom of despair. “Yes I… I know.” He acknowledged, nodding with a quiet sigh. A wry smile crossed Qui-Gon’s withered features, and he slowly brought Obi-Wan’s hand to his chest. The heart beating beneath was slow and weak.

“Don’t be upset, my dearest… Think of how happy we made each other, for so, so long. The Force brought us together… It will do so again in time. You just have to be patient.” Qui-Gon’s voice was quiet. Sleepy. Obi-Wan had never heard it so scratchy and quiet before. Fear threatened to overtake him, but he fought it off.

He sighed and nodded in agreement. “You are right… It passes in time. But I’m…” He almost couldn’t finish his sentence. Had they still been in the Order together, perhaps he simply wouldn’t have been able to.

“I’m terrified, Qui-Gon.”

His voice was barely a whisper. Qui-Gon’s brow furrowed and he soothed softly, slowly shaking his head. “There’s nothing to be scared of. Death is only the next journey in the Force, darling one.” Like always, Qui-Gon’s words were so simple and yet struck Obi-Wan so deeply. He let a few tears fall from his eyes. Qui-Gon smiled gently and rested against the bed fully now, a few tears of his own welling. He could barely stand to see Obi-Wan upset, even the smallest amount.

Obi-Wan had almost lost Qui-Gon so many times before. But now, with the idea more than a possibility… Looking him right in the face like this was almost too much. Obi-Wan’s emotions roiled, felt like they could wash him away at any second. He could only hold on while Qui-Gon was still awake. A fleeting thought, he only vaguely wondered what would happen to him now. But then it was gone as he moved closer to him in the bed to be with his lover in the final moments.

"Patience, dear one."

He squeezed Qui-Gon’s hand and sidled closer as his eyes fell shut. He pressed his forehead to Qui-Gon’s, watching him before letting his own eyes flutter closed as well. Their breaths were soft, almost evenly matched. Qui-Gon’s steadily growing slower. Obi-Wan let his lips brush across Qui-Gon’s just one last time. A chaste, sweet kiss. Not unlike their very first, at least their first _proper_ one.

He could feel the other man rumble quietly in his chest.

Then nothing but a deep and peaceful sigh.

**Author's Note:**

> I was originally only going to write one thing for the Jinnobi challenge this year, and this wormed its way into my head and wouldn't get out... oops! :P thanks for reading. it was a lot of fun finally participating this year<3


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